What would you consider the ideal "stoner food?"
1d 2h ago by sh.itjust.works/u/gigastasio in asklemmy
Pizza
Just remember to set a timer
Or to answer your phone/the door because your ordered out.
I just remembered I have a meme for this.
Air fryer mini pizzas, no burning, keeps it warm for a while and you can throw in some fries to go with.
One time when I was stoned I decided cheese filled pork sausage on the BBQ was a good idea. It was not, so much grease dripped down.
Nothing happened because I follow the safety rule of keeping BBQ well away from deck railings, but it was quite the fireball.
Set a timer for everything though. I meal prep stoned sometimes and I've forgotten I left all my tupperware full of hot food cooling and have gone to bed, and it would end up being unsafe except my roommate saved the day that time.
Ofenkäse (Ovencheese)
It's a camembert cheese you bake in the oven and then dip bread or whatever you like in it.
Huh. You're a lot more productive than me when you're high!
you can buy them chilled in the grocery store, you just fuck it in the oven for 25 mins or whatever
My oven is for storing important documents, not for cooking.
Bread? Just use a spoon ...
Potato chips. Or maybe Cheetos. Something that doesn’t require it to be to cooked or microwaved, and one can absent-mindedly eat the entire bag while watching TV.
Honestly poutine
Came here to say the same. Great otherwise, but the perfect food when high. Or drunk.
Green tea by the litre and stovetop popcorn covered in chaat masala.
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youre a good person thank you
Y'all some unimaginative peeps. Suggesting a bunch of things that taste good but are far from ideal. The true, ideal stoner food would engage all of the mouth senses in positive ways. That satisfying crunch, the burst of flavors, with an easy chew, and a greedy swallow. It would elevate the very act of mastication beyond what these mortal realms can dream. And bring with it unbound euphoria and a literal (yes, literal) mini symphony would start sound tracking the experience to resonate with the overwhelming emotional sublime waves of gratification washing over me. Oh and it would be like low cal and shit, so I could eat tons of it without getting fat, like I am now.
I feel like you just described those Nerds gummies.
You seriously need to try chaat masala on popcorn. It's tangy, funky, spicy, savoury and all that good stuff, plus popcorn is high fibre and low calorie, so you can eat fucktons of it and not gain weight.
Most good chaat masala is homemade, you can by pre-blended stuff but it's never going to be as good as a mix you tailor to your own specific tastes.
Mine is amchur (sour mango) powder, kashmiri chili powder, powdered garlic, powdered cumin, hing, black salt, corriander powder and msg. A pinch of sugar can be good too but don't add it to the blend as it could go bad, add it after to the dish you're seasoning.
On a t-break but this sounds amazing regardless. Saved.
While I see lots of suggestions for trash food (which I love while high) there's something to be said about something wholesome and homey. It works best when prepared ahead of time. My favorite are soup with fancy bread, a hearty pasta, tater tot hot dish and pot pie. I think we're doing a pot pie for tonight. Get it ready and then get high while heating up. Perfect
Speaking of healthier food, fresh fruit is amazing when high. Peaches, strawberries, pineapple, watermelon....
You're right about fruits. There's are fancy grapes that are just amazing. Especially if you make a small charcuterie plate. And by that I mean cheese
My Dad had season tickets for an NFL team for 25 years, and I went to a lot of games. I'll never forget his face when I first reached into my backpack and pulled out a bag of three different kinds of cheese cubes, green grapes, and chunks of pepperoni.
I had to bring that to every game after that.
Ooo I love a charcuterie when munching. My go to is usually sandwich meat like ham, with crackers, cheese and grapes.
Nothing better than a fresh ripe peach.
Chili. Whenever I make a batch, I make a big one, and freeze about half. 5 minutes in the microwave, and we're eating good.
Its nachos
Cheez-itz
Whatever the munchies crave when they hit.
But also the entire shopping list from Half-Baked. Including the pussy.
This.
There isn't a singular pinnacle stoner food because munchies hit different for everyone, and even for one person there's tons of variations.
Sometimes I'll crave a super cheesy Chicago style deep dish pizza. Another time, I'll die for some Black Forest Gateaux, or even a simple vanilla ice cream. Other times I can demolish an entire fruit basket. Hell, once I craved creamed spinach...
Greek yogurt with frozen blueberries, and a glass of fruit punch!
Soma, a fictional drug in Aldous Huxley's novel "Brave New World".
I want soma that, sounds good.
Peanut butter and jam, straight out of the jars with a spoon
i don't need weed to do that.
Do you do what Calvin & Hobs do where the draw a line through the peanut butter jar and only eat from that one side, then scoop from the bottom on the other side, until the last of the jar is the perfect untouched half on top?
The walking taco. Who doesn’t want 1. A taco, and 2. The ease of eating it out of a bag?
Kapsalon, no question
With seasoning that has a punch of zesty goodness, Doritos® Cool Ranch® has pleased the masses for decades. It doesn't get more classic than a blue DORITOS® bag!
Chili cheese fries or carne asada fries
Been quite a while, but clementines would probably be pretty great!
In no particular order my favorites are roasted homestyle potatoes, roasted and salted nuts, strongly flavored fruits, and toast. Toast is the best one by far, top tier food generally but especially while baked. I know nuts and fruit isn't what most people think of as stoner food but they work for me and 
If you do this try to avoid eating 1/2lb of nuts in one sitting. They are very high in fat and could cause interesting poops. Especially don't do this with Brazil nuts as they are mildly poisonous.
Oh I didn't know you could color text like that
You can't, its an image/emoji. Be cool if you could though.
strongly flavored fruits
Seconding this one. Eating grapefruit while stoned out of my gourde was a magical experience.
Also good is really ripe and juicy yellow melon, straight from the fridge on a hot day.
Mac and Cheese
Okay, hear me out. Start with frozen mini burritos - heat them up about halfway and cut them in half lengthwise. Then get your frozen pizza of choice and lay the burrito halves on it radially and cover with liberal amounts of shredded cheese. Then bake as per pizza instructions, adding maybe 3 minutes. Cut into slices and serve it forth.
I feel like a hidden world has been exposed.
Celery and Peanut Butter!
Tacos
https://youtu.be/XC3CjYCGEro
Anything and everything simply wrapped up in a warmed tortilla.
For absent munching, Mini Wheats, frosted or not. Chex cereal, any variety. Pop tarts.
Sometimes it seems, "anything that moves slower than you". The cat knows what I'm talking about.
if you overdo the grains (like cold cereal), you might experience an unintended side-effect later.
Cinnamon toast crunch cereal is my overall go-to. Quick and delicious.
Doritos is definitely up there
Tim's Habanero chips
(Tbh honestly I fuck with Thai noodles)
Pizza that's been liquified in an air fryer atop a bed of pretzals
I have a small placed by me called "Rocco's" they have the ultimate stoner food. Rippers or deep fried hot dogs with unlimited free toppings. Homemade chili cheese and onions. They also have a long list of other fried foods smash burgers and sandwiches. Nothing beats getting stoned and eating from Rocco's
Second place would be fat sandwiches. Normally a base of meat and sauce always topped with French fries mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers.
Two bite brownies
Here in Denmark we have "kammerjunker" which is basically a kind of dry sugary biscuit thing, you put on top of .... Well, forget it. Point is that when it's not in season, every Danish person has a bag of these things in the cupboard:
No, they are not meant to be eaten like this straight out of the bag. But when you're high, straight out of the bag is heaven.
Cereal always went great. Especially the feeling of cold milk.
Anything with fats, I tried smoked salmon recently
Doritos, obviously.
Anything I didn't have to create.
Lucky Charms, any cereal really
Doritos sweet chilli heat
Gas Station food. The only kinds of people that would buy that overpriced shit.
Can confirm. Have bought a lot of overpriced gas station food while high. But boy was it delicious at the time. 🤷🏻♂️