Managing an endless todo list
3d 4h ago by discuss.online/u/bytesonbike in microblogmemes from discuss.online
So glad they censored fre*king. I almost had to read a minced oath.
I'm more concerned about the "barn out"
I’m just glad they censored
Trigger warning: non federated platform
/r/AskReddit
Seriously, so fucking gross
NSFL tag please.
gasp! such language! burn!? as in burning!? for shame!
Should have said flame instead.
It says freaking, not fucking
It's "barn", not "burn"
But why did you leave the subreddit and usernames censored
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the decensoring effort. Hang in there.
•o••a•• ••o, that’s ••a•y
SHIELD YOUR EYES
goddamn bro, that’s crazy
(I’m not trying to format all the escapes needed for that many asterisks, lol)
They also censored the names of the pseudonyms on a public website.
It’s just engagement bait at this point
I really do get why it's being called out, its silly and annoying.
8/10 of the top comments in my client are complaining about this, though.
It's easy for me to ignore and move on from the censored text, but its harder to ignore the comments when they are taking up so much space.
Again, I get why, and I understand that each commenter probably didn't see eachothers comments at the time of posting. And again, I get that this censoring is ridiculous.
I am not really offering a solution, and I'm not sure that people should stop calling it out but... theres got to be a better way? Maybe such posts should just be banned? Deleted by mods? If it is so frustrating for so many people.
My kid got in a fall and I had to leave work to go to Urgent Care. Three hours for a doctor to give my kid a pain med and a bandaid, and costing us $2k.
Ive been helping my unemployed ex-teammates find work and stay motivated.
My wife's side of the family messed up on their paperwork and because they're also dark skinned, I'm worried about ICE.
I took my other kid to the park last week and was called a sexual predator by another mom. Ive been pretending to be okay as the women in my family all blame me for "looking how I look".
My cousins have called me twice in the past month concerned about bills, and I'm sending them food money.
Oh and the Europeans on Lemmy is yelling at me for being an American because I'm not doing enough to stop Trump.
I took my other kid to the park last week and was called a sexual predator by another mom. Ive been pretending to be okay as the women in my family all blame me for "looking how I look".
I'm very sorry for you, and fuck the women in your family for saying something like that. Someone who thinks you look like a sexual predator and says you deserve to get harassed for your looks is no family of mine. I'm a woman, but I'd slap the shit out of someone if I knew they said that to their male family member.
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you.
I feel like the manosphere is so loud right now that average dudes is caught in the crossfire. All I can do is politely apologize on behalf men for all the toxicity. Which again, a tiny fraction of the many things going on in the world.
Acknowledge their complaints are valid, sure, but you should not apologize for the actions of others just because they share superficial similarities. Internalizing guilt for things other people do isn't healthy.
Keep being a decent person, that is the best you can do.
Especially after offering to look after the kids
Lots on your shoulders brother. I praise you for holding it all together. You’re doing a great job despite being ask so much and disrespected. Man to man, family man to family man, this all will pass. Stay kind brother.
I respect you. If not for a random parent being dual citizen somewhere else, I'd be in the exact same shoes. We got out four years ago.
Try to ignore the people on this site who can't distinguish between real people and real problems. The system is all about making good people less activated. Just keep doing your best.
Stay with us, friend.
This, too, shall pass.
WHO IS CENSORING THE WORD "BURN" ???
FREAKING? FREAKING. NOT FUCKING. FREAKING. WHAT.
I initially thought it said "bitch out," meaning that the censorship made me think of a "worse" word.
edit: Also didn't realize until now that that freaking said "freaking." Again ... Censorship made things seem more extreme.
The people who know you'll engage with the post with a comment like this.
It's basically free engagement from nothing.
I suspect there's an algorithm out there on some other platform where boosting is adversely affected by any kind of negative language, and people have figured it out and try to game it with this kind of thing.
fire hot -> fire bad! if fire bad, need to cover word to not summon fire!
What the fuck, here there are no algorithms to please, there's no fucking need to censor "freaking" or "burn".
Meanwhile, the Reddit sub and the username in the left corner are censored so poorly, I don’t know why OP (original OP, whoever first “censored” the screenshot) even bothered at all.
When users are so brainwashed they can't even say the word dead, it probably becomes second nature to be PG rated everywhere all the time.
Pretty sure it's engagement bait at this point
Have we really reached a point where censoring "Burn out" is necessary?
And freaking freaking. The self censorship is at the point where even the self-censor words are being self-censored
Edit: actually just realised it's probably interaction bait which I fell for
As long as you don't upvote it doesn't matter the post won't be bumped higher in the feed from just comments alone.
They censored AskReddit. There’s no logic here.
The only thing there that should be censored. Fuck r*ddit.
At this point I think that any censorship is a type of "engagement".
"if you wanna make clicks, censor some words!"
Can’t have the oligarchs letting us talk about burning things in our ad infested gardens.
Why the fuck is burn censored?
You mean,
W*y the f*ck is b*rn censored?
Bro! Watch your language!
"y**r language" please, won't someone think of the children.
***nguage!
Manage your mouth words!
**** **** ****
fuck that censoring
Who censors burn?
Frick freaking frack!
Fuckity cunt, lickety clit screw this god damn censorship shit.
Rat shit bat shit, dirty old twat: 29 ass holes tied in a knot!
Do you pronounce twat with a British accent to make it rhyme better?
Indeed! Twat is such a versatile word.
We’re censoring the word burn now? Fucking what?
Our lives wouldn't be so complicated if we had financial freedom via a UBI and didn't have that metaphorical gun put to our heads to make us keep working forever.
Most animals do very little every day, humans are one of the only animals to have no resource scarcity but still work ourselves into an early grave from stress.
Uhm. Most animals live by the grace of chance and circumstance. Barely getting enough to sustain life.
I think I understand what you're trying to say, but you can't seriously think that pre-industrial age people were sitting around and doing nothing? Post-industrial age came with an explosion of people to match the new amount of resources. If we don't produce the resources then people die.
Do you want a simpler life or an easier life? Those are two very different things.
There are theories that hunter-gatherers worked significantly less. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_affluent_society
I'm all for testing 6 hour work days.
But the fantasy of universal income is too farfetched. Who will produce the food? Are we to collectively agree that we take turns on producing the food? I sure as hell don't want that, and there lies the core issue. How do you force people to do things that they don't want to do?
Lol, these downvotes. Explain the system instead. How do you propose to force people?
Why the hell do you immediately think of slavery? You don't force people to do anything. If you need work done, you pay people to do it. Obviously.
And since workers have a guaranteed income to fall back upon, employers have no choice but to pay a fair wage. That's the entire point.
Seriously, if you want to understand UBI, there are whole studies available online for your reading pleasure. There are dozens of books on the subject. Your question isn't mysterious or insurmountable, but worse, it's not even insightful. It reveals that you've never given it the slightest consideration or study. Do some work. You were down voted because you're so wildly off-base as to not even be wrong.
Since you brought it up though, what do you think our current society intends to do with us besides slavery and genocide? And how do you propose to stop it?
Why the hell do you immediately think of slavery? You don't force people to do anything. If you need work done, you pay people to do it. Obviously.
So just capitalism then. But with extra steps.
And since workers have a guaranteed income to fall back upon, employers have no choice but to pay a fair wage. That's the entire point.
No..? The ones that work to produce would control the supply and the prices would reflect it. Kind of like that other system that starts with c.
Seriously, if you want to understand UBI, there are whole studies available online for your reading pleasure. There are dozens of books on the subject.
I've read plenty of articles about it, not sold on it. Was curious if anyone had any way to sell it. You just present it as capitalism, which i suppose is one way to do it. Though I would argue that people would stop doing necessary jobs, since they no longer need to work.
Capitalism is when a small amount of people own the means of production while doing no work and profiting off the labor of many. It isn't when people buy and sell and work for money.
When you suggest that people must be forced to work, it demonstrates you don't understand it at all.
UBI simply puts power back where it belongs, in the hands of the workers.
capitalism is when a small amount of people own the means of production.
Wrong. That would be oligarchy. But i can tell that you are confused since you present UBI as capitalism without even realizing it.
underrated comment.
The post above yours would make more sense if we had reached a Star Trek level of future where the baseline population is educated enough to know what's best for them and their own rights.
Unfortunately we are so very far away from it, sigh
why did they self censor "burn"?
And "freaking"
that is at least kind of understandable. but if one thinks "Burn" is bad word, why stop there :D should censor also adult and problem, maybe also endless, never and no too since those could potentialy also have negative connotations which seems to be big no no. oh and also laundry since moneylaundring is a thing.
and "adult" clearly means porn, and "ends" clearly refers to murder or suicide 🙃
Engagement bait
To my knowledge, it's because advertisers don't want to be displayed next to potentially negative posts.
That then means that commercial social media platforms would rather display posts for which they get paid. So, potentially negative posts get downranked by the content curation algorithm to the point where they will be seen by virtually no one.
And that then means that users self-censor, and also potentially overdo it, because they don't know for certain which words will get punished.
This is similar to the phenomenon known as algospeak, where words such as "unalive" are used: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algospeak
Yet they are fine with being seen next to Nazi propaganda.
I fucking hate goddamned social fucking media.
Fuck advertisers.
i wish reaction to that would be that users go to use some other service instead
gaaaaaasp plz tw c*nsorship
While this is an issue everywhere, America dials it up to 11 by making you deal with all sorts of overcomplicated nonsense.
Healthcare in the US:
- Annual Prep: Open enrollment
- Figure out what HMO, PPO and HDCP means, and what it means to you (which one is better depends on both your needs, your job, and also your spouse's job, so good luck coasting on knowledge from last year)
- Figure out what to do with HSA and/or the various FSAs, requires mapping out what you're expecting to happen with your health, childcare and elderly care that year
- If your chest hurts and you're worried:
- Go to the ER (not urgent care, they'll forward you to the ER even if you seem fine)
- Get lots of unnecessary care (like three EKGs, a chest X-ray and some blood work) before they conclude you're just stressed from living in America
- Receive five different bills several weeks later
- Keep those in mind for another week or two until your health insurance sends their version of events
- Receive the explanation of benefits, which does not match the bills
- Call both the provider and your insurance a few times to figure out what's going on, because of course you have to mediate between them (they don't talk to each other)
- After thinking about these bills every day for about three months, you can finally pay them and be done with it
Healthcare in Norway:
- Annual Prep: None
- If your chest hurts and you're worried:
- Get a same-day emergency appointment at your doctor or call an ambulance, depending on how worried you are
- They listen to you with a stethoscope and maybe do an EKG, conclude you're fine
- You pay your copay on the way out, and never think about it again
After thinking about these bills every day for about three months, you can finally pay them and be done with it
Oh your not done with it. In almost all cases you'll get another bill in 6 months to a year later that's a mistake but you have to call to correct the error.
Here's a thirty minute video for anyone struggling with those first couple bullets!
https://youtu.be/-wpHszfnJns
Oh, I knew it would be BDG. It's fascinating how nicely he managed to put all that
Right? It's insanely well done. I've showed that video to my mom who's worked in the health care/insurance industry for multiple decades, and she had no notes
No thanks, i will continue to have zero Healthcare
In Germany you wouldn't have to pay for any of it, you go to ER or call an ambulance, they help you, you're done.
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
True, also these thoughts are somewhat depressive. Many if not most people are perfectly happy with what hey have (family, home etc) and the work they have to do. This is impossible to imagine if you have depression, but it's a reality.
Because he CHOOSES to push the boulder. That's the important distinction. If you wait until you HAVE to do laundry it's not really a choice and it feels like the chores are now dictating your schedule instead of the other way around.
Actually, sisyphus was forced to roll the boulder by hades as punishment, bc he tried to cheat zeus. N the boulder keeps rolling down bc hades enchanted it, so sisyphus could never complete his task
Yes, I know it was his punishment. But he later comes to accept his fate and DECIDES to push the boulder up the hill everyday. It's just a made up story anyway I'm sure people heard other versions hence the downvotes.
Thats not rly deciding tho is it? Bc he was never the one to start pushing the boulder of his own volition, he was made to do it. N the fact that he may have accepted his fate eventually doesn't change that. Also dont worry abt the downvotes :3 it happens sometimes 🫂
You can always decide, that's the point of the story, or so I thought. That even if something is forced upon you (like laundry or having to work or eat, etc) that you can still make a choice to do that thing. It helps give you a feeling of control, even if it might seem small and unimportant it could make a big difference. Maybe I'm just projecting lol
I think reframing a situation can be a healthy coping mechanism :3 but it's also fine to acknowledge that it wasnt u who got urself into that situation to begin with. What u focus on in the end prolly comes down to whether ur a more problem or solution oriented person :D Ig im just a bit more problem oriented lol
Okay, I’ll bite: what SMS is this screenshot being posted to where “freaking” and “burn” are deemed necessary to “censor”? Y’know, so I can avoid even accidentally going on it.
as others have said, it's a trick for engagement.
Yes, yes it is, dammit.
Dammit, now why didn’t I think of that before. Thanks.
I'll engage with the post. By downvoting.
Smashmouth tried to warn us. The years keep coming and they do not stop coming.
It never ends and it doesn't get better with age. Aging sucks and the endless drudgery of the useless activities like work just wears on you, and when that fat, bloated, bald creep looks back at you in the mirror and you wonder what the fuck is going on, you wonder what a .45 feels like at the back of your throat.
I wake up every morning with a knot in my stomach and I need to yell for about ten minutes about how sick and fucking tired I am of all this endless useless crap.
you wonder what a .45 feels like at the back of your throat.
Maybe a suicide prevention image shouldn't have made 'being a skeleton' look like quite that fun idk
And I didn't know how to play the guitar before! Awesome!
"We all shred down here. You'll shred, too!"
c/the_pack APPROVES THIS MESSAGE!!! AWWOOOOOOOOO
Friend, adulting can suck for sure and you're not alone in thinking so, but if you're experiencing suicidal ideation you might need to talk to someone professional. I hope things end up okay. Let me know if I can help.
Bruh I think of suicide on a daily level. I don't do it, but I think about it. Honestly the basic things of modern life get me more than things that most people would expect. My jeep has been dinging because it eats oil. But it's at that level in-between the problem levels. So it senses the oil level is low, and if it were really low, it'd ding 3x and stop. But it is somewhere in-between so it'll ding 1-3 times, then cut off. But then it goes off again and it'll ding another 1-3 times. But then it senses oil again, and I shift gears and it'll ding again for one to three times. Just be below the level for fucks sake! That dinging is enough for me to want to kill myself. Id love to have a more valid reason, but the little things set me off more than anything.
You might need a new vehicle.
But you shouldn't be considering suicide regularly. It's not a personal failing, just an indication that you need help.
I'm not a professional, but if you want to reach out, I'm a safe recipient. If you want to talk to a professional, there are resources.
Please don't end yourself. Especially not because of your jeep. I'm certain the world is better with you in it.
It's not like that. I never seriously consider it. But I think about it. It's hard to explain, but I'm not at risk and I appreciate your concern. But for real, I'm not at risk. I'm just... Off. I'm more likely to consider it in a long line than anything really serious. Bureaucracy is more likely to make me consider it than any real life issues. Like fuck me, I have to go to the DMV? It's more like just being sick of dealing with unnecessary bullshit.
This sounds like passive suicidal ideation: something that's always there in the back of the mind, but not about to be actively acted on. To quote Anna Borges:
I don’t always want to be alive. Yes, I mean it. No, you shouldn’t be afraid for me. No, I’m not in danger of killing myself right now. Yes, I really mean it. How do you explain that?
I keep her article in my bookmarks, and re-read now and then: https://theoutline.com/post/7267/living-with-passive-suicidal-ideation
You don't have to defend yourself if you're hurting. Even if you did ... I get hating bureaucracy.
It's just like God damnit, another speed bump, another needless bullshit hoop to jump through. So it's more of just being over the bullshit than actually being suicidal. I appreciate the concern, but it's more like me just being sick of the bullshit.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I'd love to hear of anything good you've got going on, though. Probably it's not productive to carry on this thread with negativity but I'm also fully open to private messaging if you want to send complaints to me.
But positivity does seem likely to be more fun.
I heard an interview with a woman who tried to commit suicide. She was having lots of suicidal thoughts without actually planning to do anything, like you are. But, one day something happened and suddenly she decided that was it. I think she took a lethal dose of pills and she was just lucky someone happened to find her before it was too late. I think that's a very common sequence of events.
She now really regrets trying to do that and works to try to prevent other people from committing suicide.
I've also been there, thinking about it without actually ever planning to... I regret not getting therapy sooner.
My point is this is actually serious and therapy may help you enjoy life more. What's the point in living if you're not enjoying it? Why not do what you can to make it more enjoyable? And maybe it would prevent you from doing something really regrettable.
I think you should at least call a hotline and explain your feelings to someone who knows about this stuff professionally. I've heard they get a lot of calls that are much less important and they're still happy to help.
Again, I appreciate your concern but I really am not at risk. Im far too good at what I have been trained to do to take myself out before what's to come. Im not going out senselessly. Fuck that. If I can help people, I will. And unfortunately I have been trained to be good at keeping people safe while they do their job. I assume that in the near future, my skills will be needed to help keep people safe from worse people.
Edit: it's less "I wanna die" and more "I'm willing to die on this hill"
Hmm. Can you drive over me before the check engine lights up?
Yes, a professional will know how to hold a 1911A1 the wrong way and engage the grip safety. Good idea!
I suspect you've deliberately misinterpreted my missive.
But I still want you to be well.
But hey, we created this bureaucracy thing to put hurdles in your way, so uhh enjoy that. Why did we do it? Meh, don't worry about it.
Why does Pepe have a face on the side of his head?
Its a perspective issue
Fizz@lemmy.nz
FWIW, I'm signing a lease today on a place just for me and my endlessly-loving ESA —after several months of consecutive homelessness. ("van life", my ass) Even though it costs >50% of my current monthly pay (from whatever gig work I can piece together), it's not living in my car and it's hopefully a step toward stability...
Unless, of course, the world continues being, well, ahem... sweeps arm at horizon 😅🤢🫡🤷🏼♂️
Congratulations! I was in the same situation about a month ago (and in earlier times of my past 🙃) and would’ve still been there if my gf didn’t help me find a place. It’s a studio, in a good neighborhood of a bad city, and has a mouse I’m trying to catch, but at least it’s better than my car. I’m actually throwing a small “home-warming” party soon… being mindful to keep it small, as I do not have much space. 😅
Anyway, I’m so happy for you! Best of luck in your new place!
I know its alot of your income, but you gotta take the W. its just a first step stranger. I've been homeless several times and getting the first place is always the hardest. It will get better, hang in there.
Please put a censor on the word ad*lt! I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw the uncensored a-word. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one word. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just censored ad*lt.
The one thing I realize about these ToDO lists, is that they are written by others for you. Designed perfectly to exploit and trap the average person, until their life passes.
It's hard to pivot, if you are already in a wage-slave job, it is a trap. However, if you can eliminate your dependencies, say no to people who drain you, and create just enough room to find another job, you can finally start living.
I feel like a lot of this is due entirely to the shift away from generational/communal living.
If you live with a bunch of other people, and those people actually contribute to the environment you all live in, the daily tasks get split up such that they are much easier to maintain, for everyone.
Say you’ve got a set of parents, 2 kids and their spouses, and whatever offspring under that. Sure you need a bit more space than your average single family starter home offers, but if only one house is needed, that frees up a lot of money elsewhere so I feel like that’s an OK trade.
But beyond the added space, you could have one person who cooks, one who cleans common areas, one who does dishes, one who does laundry, one who pays bills and manages appointments, and one who makes sure the kids are handled. Rotate those jobs as desired, or assign them to whomever likes doing them most of the time, and all the big major draining tasks are handled. EZ.
With individualized living, everything falls to one or two people, and yeah that’s an absolute ton. Especially if one of the two can’t or won’t pull their weight.
Can't wait to see more of the power of diversity showing on a larger scale, as more people work directly together to survive and resist!
Cooking for 8 people isn't 8x as hard as cooking for one person. But, it's still significantly harder than cooking for one person. 1 house is cheaper than 8 houses, but 1 house with enough room for 8 people is huge compared to a house for a single person.
I have relatives that live in a kind-of communal way like that. It works pretty well for them. But, I couldn't possibly survive living with my mother. To give you an idea, she came from a family of 4 sisters. One sister died estranged from the other 3. My mother hasn't visited the other 2 in decades. The one she'd like to visit, she won't because she doesn't think they can stand to be in each-other's company for a week. That one's her twin.
Its a perspective issue. I always hear complaints from teenagers and people in their 20s and i felt the same when i was that age but its really not that bad. I dont feel like chores take up a significant amount of my free time. Once I have kids though I expect this to change because now im cleaning up after kids who dont do the proper steps to minimise later work.
Yeah, If you have a decent sized house, an animal or two, a couple of kids, toss on some mild depression, the chore list can just strangle you.
- wake
- cook breakfast for kids
- eat on the fly
- let dog out
- wake kid one
- make kid one's lunch
- let dog in
- have them get dressed and get their shit together
- prepare dogs food, don't only eats warm chicken and kibble
- wash dogs bowl, fill bowl
- wake kid 2, give them food
- take kid 1 to school
- have kid 2 get ready
- do kid 2's hair and get their finer points done
- clean up kitchen
- wash dishes.
- make sure kid 2 has lunch money,
- walk kid to bus stop
- walk home
- back yard poo duty
- start work
- wife gets up
- laundry
- cleaning
- vacuuming
- work break to eat lunch
- pick up kid 1
- cleaning
- pick up kid 2
- put dishes away
- get off work
- kid 2 to sports
- start dinner
- everyone eats
- refill dishwasher
- spend a little time with the kids, playing games or watching a show
- put dishes away
- clean
- feed the dog
- let the dog out/in
- trash
I'm going solid from 6a-8p If something isn't broken or a project doesn't need done, i get at best a couple hours a night right before bed to read/consume/extra sleep
My wife is going solid from about 10-10, spends a little extra time with the kids and gets an hour or two to herself.
On the weekend, we lose a couple extra hours to sleeping in, about 2/3 of that list still happens, but now there's yard work and taking the kids places. extra meals to cook.
In my 20's and early 30's there were no kids making messes and breaking things and when it was just us, so what if the dishwasher is overfull or the counter wasn't cleaned. and we could afford to eat out more.
freaking and burn are bad words now?
What in tarnation
Censorship=downvote
I think it’s a joke. They’re censoring “freaking” and “burn”.
I don't think it's for the viewer. More likely it's for content recognition algos and engagement bait.
Most relatabke shit ever.
I can. not. keep. up.
They literally teach you this in highschool science. They teach you that the universe is a dynamic system driven by entropy. They teach you that equilibrium, i.e. a state of stability in a dynamic system, is achieved when the rate of structural formation equals the rate of destruction, e.g. bonds forming/breaking, population birth/death, organizing/disorganizing one's room... Managing while not burning out is stability.
The classic question of "when would any of this be applicable in the real world" is intended to be a critique of how school curriculums can be dated or out of touch with chages in how the world works. It also highlights the often understated goal of a good education--shaping students into people who have the fundamental tools and the mindset to actively answer that crucial question for themselves.
It gets better if you achieve "partner" then you can share the endless to-do-list.
That depends entirely on the partner. Mine increases the todo list more than they alleviate it, but now I'm doing fun activities I wouldn't even have known about on my own.
Well, stability is doing the same thing every day, so...
So it's like space travel. Achieve a steady burn without exploding.
Something I think we don't talk about too much that has additionally fallen to the throes of Late Stage Capitalism is the dissolution of nuclear and extended families, as well as the normalcy of shared households.
Before, the everyday tasks of any one domicile could be reasonably expected to be split up amongst its cohorts. Kids do their chores, dad mows the lawn, mom does the wash, nana does the cooking, auntie takes the kids to school/shopping, or your housemates help out, etc etc.
But most of this generation is living in isolated pods, single-serving everything. You are solely responsible for the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, studying, working, running to the bank, filing taxes, trip planning, car maintenance, home repairs, and your godddamn mental health. Of course it's too much work for just one person, but it's become so normalized by now that people hardly even notice there's a problem, much less any viable solution to it. Instead, we all resign ourselves to being "tired all the time", physically and emotionally, and not knowing why.
And not to go down the conspiracy rabbit hole - I think this is more of a blind "race to the bottom" scenario - but it makes a lot more money for the rent-seeking class when we're socially isolated. A couple shares a house/apartment, shares chores, may even be able to share a car. When they break up, that's now 2 apartments, 2 cars, individual trips for everything, etc.
It's not quite that clean of course, and plenty of folks live with roommates. But there's definitely a perverse economic incentive to keep us detached from community and partnership, and everything from AI/social media/online dating to the gender/culture wars seems to be pushing us farther in that direction.
Do like the boomers did and spawn so you can make children legally do your chores.
Have enough and they literally take care of themselves/each other!
Compare your life to that of a caveman: constantly watching out for predators, fire risks, intrusive insects, maintaining an insufficient shelter, tanning and hiding your clothing out of necessity, sleeping fretfully, and of course spending a good portion of your day scrounging for food whilst keeping the kids alive.
Our ADHD brains were in overdrive much of our history to cope with the dangers and stress of living.
Nowadays we have systematic soceital dangers to focus on, but we forget that our minds are far less distracted by real threats, and so we seek arbitrary topics to hyperfixate upon
Just breathe, write lists, you got this.
Our ADHD brains
Just breathe, write lists
OH MY GOD, how did I never think of this?!?!? This is going to absolutely turn my life around, this is such an amazing day!
Do you also tell people in wheelchairs to "just stand up," or people with dyslexia to "just read what's on the paper?"
I may forget to check my lists but I at least I have them for when I remember
Baby steps. They don't have to be organized lists, there's no need to overthink it -- write emails to yourself, send TODO messages over Whatsapp to yourself -- be as chaotic and inefficient as you like in the process of writing said lists, and don't worry about the perfection.
Wheelchair users can get around without standing up, and dyslexic people can read and write at their own pace
Well from my point of view if I'm not making a good list I may as well not be making a list
More unwanted advice: do not let your perfectionism stand in the way of your progress
Okay but who's gonna do the reading of said lists? Because I never see them again after writing. It doesn't even occur to me that I'd written a list.
Well I've come to realise that it's not the list itself really that helps you accomplish the task, it's the writing of it.
That momentary 10 second concentration of writing said thing down on paper or on your phone is often enough for it to linger just behind your frontal lobe long enough to prompt you to do it sometime in the next few hours or day.
Dunno, try it, see how you fare
It would only be like your examples if they said to keep everything in your head. Using lists are one way people with adhd can help themselves, because now you have a list to go back to.
But please, go off.
If I had a dollar for every time someone suggested a planner to fix my executive dysfunction - which has virtually nothing to do with not knowing what I should be doing - then I would be able to afford my ADHD medication.
But please, go off on disorders you clearly don't understand.
I'm in the same boat. I tried it all, enthusiastically. It helped me only a slight amount, and it often felt like I was being told that smiling helps cure depression 😎 fucking awesome thanks
every time someone suggested a planner to fix my executive dysfunction
Interesting how that's not what I or the other person commented.
Is a planner not where most people construct their daily lists and otherwise plan their approaches to upcoming events? It's not a stretch to say that using a planner involves... Making lists? Daily?
I did not suggest that a planner or list would fix their executive dysfunction. I suggested that their analogy, telling a person in a wheelchair to just stand up and telling people with dyslexia just read what's on the paper, isn't the same as what the other person was saying. Making lists is a thing that "can" help people with ADHD (I even put can in bold back in that other comment). I did not say, Ledivin, YOUR life would be solved if you just made lists. To your other point on this thread, I'm also not telling people to smile to cure their depression. I bet it feels like that for you both often and I understand the frustration that comes with that but that was not coming from either of us, that's (probably) coming from your past interactions with others.
That other comment (not mine, I was being snarky with my "go off" bit so I reasonably expected the response I got) was just some words of encouragement and a small generalized suggestion. Nothing more than a "keep your head up" type thing, at least that's how I read it.
telling a person in a wheelchair to just stand up and telling people with dyslexia just read what's on the paper
Have you ever considered that there are actually cases where people in wheelchairs regain partial motor function in their legs by going through rigorous physical therapy and training the muscles to bear weight again? It's on the less common side, but it applies to some folks.
Additionally, a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it as their ability to process text develops over time, through constant reading.
I know these situations are much larger in magnitude, but can't you see how a solution for some is not a good suggestion for others? If I told someone with dyslexia to read more, odds are they will be irritated, even if it might be their solution.
Suggesting a list for those with executive dysfunction may be a reasonable thing, objectively, but it can come off as uninvolved or ignorant for someone who has tried to utilize lists hundreds (if not thousands) of times in their life. I think it would be better received if you suggested writing one or two tasks down at a time, at least. A list of two items is hardly a list and is more approachable, and if it doesn't work for someone then it doesn't feel like much of a commitment/time waste.
I get that the hostile responses feel bad... But wouldn't you also feel bad if you were struggling with anxiety and someone told you to "just relax"? At the very least they should suggest a means to relax and not just... Tell you to.
Have some empathy for the frustrated and suggest a means of setting and working towards goals without downright suggesting a list, maybe.
Reading your response I believe there is a misunderstanding between us and it's easily possible I didn't write my last comment clearly or I'm just misunderstanding some of yours. Keep in mind, the focus of my first comment is on the sarcastic analogy in the response to the original "write a list" comment. I did a little bit of defending of that list statement a couple times already but I don't want to keep defending their comment for them since I didn't write it and it's not my place to speak for them. They've responded here already and have been kinder than I have.
That said, I still believe the analogies used don't line up with what was commented. I think a more accurate thing would be if the original comment said something like "Just do your tasks!". That doesn't tell you how to tackle anything, it gives no actionable advice. Saying to someone in a wheelchair "Just stand up!" is the same to me - It's the end goal, just saying to DO the end goal is not real advice and is often deserving of a sarcastic "why didn't I think of that" reply, since that's exactly what they're trying to do. I think I should have used that example instead of "keep it in your head" in my other reply, I think it's more clear what I meant that way.
Have you ever considered that there are actually cases where people in wheelchairs regain partial motor function in their legs by going through rigorous physical therapy and training the muscles to bear weight again?
Yes, but that's not "just standing up". I think if you equate rigorous physical therapy to seeing a therapist and training the muscles to bear weight to some other proven tool for people with ADHD that would be a fair analogy and probably ok advice in both cases.
I know these situations are much larger in magnitude, but can’t you see how a solution for some is not a good suggestion for others? If I told someone with dyslexia to read more, odds are they will be irritated, even if it might be their solution.
Of course, I agree with you. Now I know nothing about treating dyslexia, so I'll go with what you said that a good portion of children with dyslexia grow out of it through constant reading. If that's the case, is it not fair to suggest that a child should try to read more? Not the "just read the paper!" idea, but give some tip about reading? In that case, is it really appropriate to poo-poo real techniques with a sarcastic response because it didn't work for you specifically?
I get that the hostile responses feel bad… But wouldn’t you also feel bad if you were struggling with anxiety and someone told you to “just relax”?
Just to be clear, I'm not hurt by the response. I saw what I read as an overly sarcastic reply to a reasonably good-willed comment and so in my response I was snarky. In doing so, I know that if I don't communicate my point well, if I'm plain wrong, if the general community disagrees with me, or hell if they just don't like my attitude, that it can result in that type of response and so I was saying I "reasonably expected" it. I'm also fine with it and it was really that person I replied to defending themselves anyway.
Like I said in the last comment, I read the original bit as a half throwaway "Keep your head up" type comment. When someone's sick, people tell them to feel better. If the response to "feel better" is "WELL GOLLY, WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT?! MY LIFE IS CHANGED" what do you expect people to say after? Trust me, I empathize with the struggles everyone goes through. People have given me advice that did fuck all, and I've given the same, nobody has all the answers.
Nowadays we have systematic soceital dangers to focus on, but we forget that our minds are far less distracted by real threats
This implies that the systematic societal dangers aren't real threats, which they most certainly are
Of course, but they're barely something you can actually do anything about other than protest and voting. Do those two things, and then make peace with your day
Compare your life to that of a caveman
Whataboutism
Dunno, the post seems to be more of a critique of life in general, rather than specifically of life in our modern times. I think my comparison can apply if the former is true
I just tell myself it's my executive dysfunction but.. I think it's just too much for Everybody
Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
It wouldn’t be as bad if there were things to look forward to.
Well, Trump’s health is looking worse and worse each month. Fingers crossed!
Adult life is a rollercoaster of shutting down and burning out.
Not as serious as your problems OP but I'm also feeling that, man. It's just one thing after another
Honestly, the “it never ends” part is real — the best hack I’ve found is separating daily maintenance from actual projects so you don’t feel like you’re failing at life every time you do laundry. Also: future-you deserves a day off too.
yeah, I sometimes thank past me when I don't have to deal with hassle avoided by my past actions (even if it's mundane stuff like washing the dishes yesterday xd)
Get a significant other, share the pain.
It's on my to-do list.
Hope things get more relaxing for you OP.
In the universe of Chaos, stability doesnt exist. Its an illusion
Why is Pepe AI
We have truly failed our children when they can't even manage life without burning out. I don't say I have an answer, but I am genuinely curious as a 48 year old man what it is.
Is it that you never had chores as a child? Are parents withholding responsibility too long making you isolated from that norm when you become an adult?
It's not the parents failing to teach their children. It's that this society is SO VASTLY DIFFERENT from what you grew up with or what your parents did and certainly so far removed from what we have experienced for 100,000 years, that our brains are melting trying to make sense of it.
Making your bed, bills and errands around us new? Commitments at work are new? I'm not being factitious I genuinely don't understand.
Yes the world is different. My dad at 82 had a vastly different world than me at 48. But here's the rub, you peel back the technology advancements it's the same world. How are kids today not seeing the same world? Parents may not have failed but someone/something has.
Doing dishes shouldn't be burning you out.
Edit - minor generic tweaks
For context: I am 29, 5 years in the workforce after university. Also German.
For me it's the pointlessness about all of it. I live with the expectancy of this world going to shit since my formative years. Nothing ever feels like it is getting better. If society is talking about my generation it's either "sorry here is another burden we don't want to take care of right now" or "this generation is too lazy, too weird, too something".
I am supposed to pay for 1/2 of someone that was allowed to stop working at 63 while I fully expect to work until I'm 70 or dead because of some war about water supply.
I am also supposed to keep consuming because otherwise the economy will collapse.
I am also supposed to keep my own stockpile of cash because probably the system won't provide for me when I am old.
I am also supposed to always keep learning because otherwise some AI will steal my job.
All the while every tech company out there is hellbound to make me feel miserable because that is the best way of keeping me engaged to make them some profit either via ads or by selling my data or both.
It's just so... meh. And then the garbage bin is full again and all I can think about is "yeah be a good little cog in the machine and bring out the trash"
I understand everything you're saying.. I don't see this as burning out though. This is more existential or nihilism. Welcome to experiencing life as a GenX 🤣
It's always been pointless. I work in Finance everything is smoke and mirrors. If you want real meaning it's all those jobs none of us care about. Social workers. Nurses. Construction. Cashier's. Farmers.
This is why IT people like me end up dipping out before retirement and shifting careers drastically. It's all bullshit. It always has been.
You kinda got the wrong point of the comment. This wasn't about the meaning of life or coming to terms with the fact that your life will not matter in the grand scale of things.
Its about having no hope that things will ever get better for you. Most generations over the last few hundred years either saw a great increase in living standards for everyone or had technological breakthroughs during their live-time that promised a better life for them.
Even if the current situation was bad for them the future didn't look completely black. There was always that small voice in the back that said "Maybe in the future it will be better".
Nowadays? I dread every technological breakthrough and every election cause it brings us one step closer from endstage capitalism back to feudalism ruled by a few cleptomanic psychopaths. The general populace is purposefully kept as close to their breacking point as possible to stop them from rising up and seemingly every single nation is drifting towards fascism while trying their absolut hardest to implement a full scale surveillance system.
The only reasonable way to cope with that is being completely apathetic to your surroundings, which makes it even harder to find enough joy in life to get trough the daily boring grind for survival.
GenX did not see an increase in living standards... Shit has been rolling downhill since the 80's.
Nah that's just a lie. There was no major increase in lifespan, sure, but that's mostly due to the fact that we are pretty close to the normal biological limit after we stopped early child deaths for the most part.
But in terms of living standards, a lot changed. In the time from 1980 to 2000 the internet emerged, information and entertainment slowly became available on demand for most people. Electronic devices became affordable even for "lower class" families. Smartphones slowly became a normal to own. Slowly increasing globalization gave pretty much everyone the chance to see a bigger part of the world than ever before. At the same time a lot of the most problematic illnesses got eradicated. Polio is gone and there are vaccines for stuff like hepatitis. Insulin slowly became available for everyone (apart from the corporate hellhole that's the USA). With the increase in global trade you could by fruits that your grandparents barely knew about.
That's not to say that everything was good. If you were part of a surpressed group back then, your life definetly wasn't easy, but even then there was slow progress towards acceptance. While climate change was already an ever present topic, most prognoses were still optimistic until the early 2000s. The biggest climate issue was the ozone hole that got mostly fixed by now. Even if you lived in the 3rd world and still suffered a lot more than others, you could still slowly see amenities that europe took as granted come into your country.
I work in Finance everything is smoke and mirrors.
I have a job where I don't have to worry about money! What is everyone else's problem?!
Lol. I worry about money all the damn time. I have 3 kids. Divorced. 2 boys on the spectrum and one of them will probably never be independent.
Point being before you talk walk a mile in someone's shoes. I have busted my absolute ass off to get where I am.
How many passwords, accounts, bills, charges, emails, letters, apps did they receive or use every day? How many minutes of their day were hijacked by advertisements expressly designed to make you feel strong emotions?
Every single person is so intensely overstimulated compared to our ancestors. Even on our days off, we rarely spend time just sitting and relaxing because our capitalistic world demands our labor. When we do relax, usually we are overstimulating with media.
What im reading from this is not new but i don't want to discount your sentiment. What I am assuming is the difference is for me and those older we are the frog in the pot of water with the water being brought to a boil. Because we grew up before The Internet we are effectively better grounded for the overstimulation now? The shock for those younger is far more jarring especially if they have not been adequately prepared by their support systems.
No one forces you to do all things, maybe bills since some are imposed by the States.
Self preservation mandates that we do those things. Sourcing food, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, cleaning our living areas.
Still you are forcing those upon yourself (you can eat outside, order food, use disposable plates, etc). I don't even consider things like cleaning and washing a problem though.
Stuff like bills in countries like mine you have to pay for them because it's illegal to live outside the grid. Email is also not necessary, me having over a dozen emails is some self-inflicted pain, me using whatsapp because that's what family and friends use is some external inflicted pain but I could choose not to use it.
I phrased it "source food" on purpose, no matter how you get it you still need to do it every day. You're either going to put in an enormous amount of effort to grow your own food or you need a job to buy your food. And you still need to cook it. Washing clothes and keeping your abode clean are still necessary and something you can't get away from no matter where you are.
Of course all the other stuff you mention is optional. But using WhatsApp isn't anywhere in the same ballpark in terms of effort.
The stability of... not having to dishes or other chores? Lmao
Hey OP. You're a cunt.