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Seriously wtf is my mother doing? She says I'm useless then threatens me with cutting me off inheritance. Then I overhear her say the same thing to my older brother. Is this some mind game?

5d 10h ago by sh.itjust.works/u/DeathByBigSad in mentalhealth

Based on my situation with my dad, fuck the inheritance. A peaceful life is worth more to me than putting up with my cunt of a father. He complained to me that my sisters don't answer his phone calls, "what a great idea" I thought to myself.

Sounds like

  1. you actually are usless (unlikely)

  2. shes controlling and wants leverage over you by lowering your self confidence so you become reliant on her (useless) and then threatening to cut you off (leaving you with nothing), therefore you need to act nice to her and appease her

  3. she's a selfish boomer and thinks anything not done her way is wrong and that mental illness isnt real and all of its symptoms are personal failings

It sounds to me like intentional manipulation by a controlling parent

Sounds like she does not feel appreciated.

I feel so guilt tripped now I feel obliged to say "I love you" every time she tells me that she "loves me". And I feel so dirty for saying it... like I'm just under her control.

I mean I do feel emotionally attached, that part is true, but not sure if "love" is the correct term, more like a trauma-bond and a weird fucked up co-dependency and a emotionally neglected child's craving of maternal love.

Sorry if I sound pathetic, the emotional side of me never got a chance to grow up and the "flame of adulthood" got smothered by my mother.

My sleep schedule is so fucked up now I it's 2 AM and I can't sleep.

Cuz yesterday night she just barges in while I was sleeping and tried to "clean the room" and I got so startled I don't feel like sleeping tonight.

And even though I just helped her filled out a form and made some phonecalls on her behalf, she still continues to express disappointment in me, because I have depression and I don't "act normal" enough to her liking. Everything I did was my fault. Including me getting emotionally overwhekmed and decided ti take an entire month supply of antidepressants, I did this multiple times. She says its my fault for the self harm and that by doing that fucked up my brain even more. That I should've behaved more and not misuse medications.

:/

/endrant

I'mma go write poetry... I need a lot of catharsis

Exercise will control most of that.

If anyone complains about my sleep cycle, I just tell them, "you are not better than people in other time zones." There are sixteen waking hours in the day and at any point in time, a third of the world is asleep. Only a halfwit thinks themselves better than a third of the world.

I hate when people say "I love you" too. If someone wants to say something worth the oxygen, say "I feel loved." To tell someone "I love you" is actually super fucked up. It is admitting to being too stupid to cause the person to feel loved. It is placing meaning on words when those words are about self evident actions, where actions are the only real truth sayer. While speaking words is an action, those words could be anything, and if the person feels that such insignificant action is sufficiently meaningful as to be the value of "love," I do not think we have a very good standard definition, or perhaps I am putting far too much effort into a space with a fool that cannot comprehend with reciprocal depth.

I think of it like people saying "I think I am smart." That is a stupid thing to say as it is for others to judge for themselves, and stating it has no meaning except to make yourself sound stupid. Same thing with "I love you." Ask them, "Do you feel loved?" That is intelligent and pragmatic. To say "I love you" is more like a threat. 'This is all you're gonna get out of me in this relationship,' is essentially what is implied. It is projecting expectations upon someone in place of developing deeper connections.

Sounds like a frustrating woman, and sounds like a frustrating situation. Luckily I will never have to deal with these issues because my family was poor so there is no inheritance for me and my sister.